The world, for most of us, is strongly based on rewards and punishments. We go to work so we can get our paychecks. We save our money and delay our gratification so we can buy what we need or want. I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t consider arguing with my wife before dinner, not if I wanted her to continue preparing it. As adults we know about rewards and consequences for our behavior.
It is no difference for our children. Rewards and punishments will modify their behavior. They also can learn to continue with good behavior and eliminate unwelcome behavior. The task is to learn what works for you and your child. Although punishments will often work in the short term, they are not as effective for long periods of time. They also leave a residue of anger and resentment that can last for a long period of time and have unfortunate consequences. A reward system can be equally effective depending on the age of the child and his/her makeup.